The first Superhero (Respect!)

MAN OF STEEL (2013)

First shout out to mondo for that unreal limited edition poster... legit.

Superman was the first super hero.
Before him there was nothing. There wree quips, and ideas, whispers, and forgotten comic strips. Superman was the creation of an entirely new genre, closing in on a hundred years ago. Did you know that the SUPERMAN "S" logo is the second most recognized symbol world wide? Think about that. A fictional comic book hero is the second most known logo In Da World. You can walk into a straw hut bar in Ethiopia in a superman tee and some kid will come up to you and say "Su-per-man". Ok. I mean, statistically... that would probably happen. Hows this for perspective: wherever you are, however old you are... reading this review... you know who superman is. Period. How crazy is that?

Point being. He is Myth, he is legend, and he is the man.

I have been reading Superman for years. Years and years. Years and years and years... dammit I think I'm getting older or something (boooooooo). And this... this folks is the film I have been waiting for. Having had to rely on ancient loveable cheese (the original Reeves films, and no I will not forgive the rewinding of the planet!), more 90s loveable cheese (Lois & Clark: the new adventures of superman), a surprisingly watchable but teenage based telling (smallville), and many amazing animated features, to tell superman's story... finally... the big screen does it justice.

So your story is. Two parents on a doomed planet - Krypton, choose to send their only son to Earth in an effort to spare his life. Space ship lands on earth, and two amazing people, Jonathan and Martha, find him, and become his adoptive parents. Raising him, he begins to demonstrate amazing abilities, but they never let him stray from the path of the moral. Instilling a strong sense of love for his fellow man despite their flaws. Years later, their son Clark aka SUPERMAN! is traveling the world saving people, trying to find himself... and then an ancient war criminal from Krypton General Zod (who escaped being destroyed with Krpyton because he was in a space prison) shows up with a bunch of people to you know, destroy earth and such. Oh and they have powers thanks to our planets yellow sun as well.

I'm sorry was that your indestructible safe? Oopsie. 

Ok.
I'm going to stop now, and point out something that has really, and I mean really pissed me off. Over the years their have been many, many, problems with the superman films, and people have cried out for justice! Here I am thinking finally we have our wants and needs fulfilled, and peeps (critics) are still bitchin'. Lets take a lot.

Problems with the last Superman film:
1. Too much back story on characters we are already familiar with.
2. Not enough action.
3. The portrayal of the villain is a throwback to the classic character that doesn't work here.
4. Not enough action! (deserved repeating) This is after all a super man movie.
5. Oh, and 5, I saved for this... SUPERMAN RETURNS was the classic characters and tones. And it was too cheesy and classic to connect with todays (Dark Knight loving) audience.

So here we are.... problems I am hearing with this latest version....
1. Not enough back story. The characters, lois lane, Perry white, don't have any time to develop.
2. Too much action, not enough focus on the story.
3. The film is too dark (Dark Knight treatment) in tone.
4. The main villain is handled poorly.

Blah
F'n blah people. Make up your minds. Ok, well since you are here, and Ol' Boony is the He-man to your universe, let me share my thoughts.

SUPERMAN PUNCHES PEOPLE THROW BUILDINGS! Over and over and its awesome. Finally what I have waited years to see has come to pass. Actual violence and chaos on scale with what a Superman fight should look like. I almost raised my hands in the theatre when he first air body slammed someone... sweeeeet!

The back story was great. The time on Krypton and Russell Crowes performance as Superman (Kal-el)'s father was great. He somehow manages to create his entire character; motivations, pride, strength, all in a matter of minutes. The flashbacks do not take away from the story. I liked how when he was hurt, or alone for a moment, these scenes from his past would come... as if we were seeing his history as he would in such moments. His successes, his failures.

Also, understanding the fact that the supporting cast would be getting limited time, they insert top notch actors in every role. Actors that can get the characters across without needing tons of screen time. I have actually read people complaining that characters like Perry White, and Lois Lane don't get enough time to develop... Kidding? First Lois is by far the best incarnation ever on screen. She is tenacious, and finally - intelligent. This is not the Whoops I found the bad guys and without backup guess I'll be in peril and wait for superman Lois. And Perry? Really? Has Perry ever had screen time? Ever? I mean he's lucky to get two panels in the comic. Yes I know he is played by Laurence Fishburne, but that is the point, he can make the scene intense, sell the few minutes he has... he doesn't need another 15 minutes to explain to you who Perry White is.

There are going to be folks upset with the tone of the film, the times that it does get dark. For me, it simply felt like this was a film for this generation. A world that is darker, more realistic... but a world in which superman is still the loveable determined to do good character we all know, despite what is happening around him. Yes, they drop a few bombs on you that the fans out there might be rubbed wrong by, but as a lifelong superman comic fan, these are things that did happen in the comic and really, I didn't need to see set up through 4 films before they happened.
Lastly.
Henry Cavill.
Is Superman. Though the blue tights have rarely resulted in career superstardom (I.E. Christopher Reeves never having another hit, and where oh where is Brandon Routh... ) I think this will be the exception. The emotions, and places that this incarnation go through could not have been handled by any one other than a top tier actor.

Now I gush because, to me this is more or less exactly what I have been waiting for and well, I feel like Haters gunna hate (to quote some rap verse I am not entirely aware of).

A few issues I had. The camera work though stellar for the most part, gets a little old with the 3x zoom Synder uses (over and over) to showcase superman flying. Wideshot, close shot, zoom in, wideshot. However that same technique is used to perfection during the battles so I forgive it...

Me (Giant to the right lol), and the fam. Just stoked after.

Movie scale 4 out of 5 stars.
Super Hero movie scale 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Believe the hype, and I hope you all enjoy the freaking shizzie out of this film. This review may have been a little more serious in tone than some, but I don't know if I can properly explain how satisfied I was after all these years... that little child in me that read the first page of Superman issue who knows... finally has his superman film. And I was very frustrated as you can tell with some of the advance negative feelings for the film from critiques... some that I very much admire as well. Sigh... can't wait to see this one again.

-Chuck Boonsweet saying "Up, Up, and away!"

Identity Thief? More like Time Thief, as in MY time....

IDENTITY THIEF (2013)



Take it from your old pal Ken Bucklesworth; sometimes, reviewing movies isn't all fun and games.  Occasionally we're forced to suffer through the worst kinds of so-called "entertainment."  This is why Boonsweet & Bucklesworth has a CRAP! segment, not only so we can warn you about flicks you need to avoid, but also so we can vent our rage and feel a little better for it.  While this isn't a CRAP! review, for reasons I'll get into soon, this is going to be a venting experience anyway.  Let's get into my thought for Identity Thief.

Sandy Patterson has a decent life.  He has a wife and kids, a decent sized house, and a job with a newly formed company which nets him a huge start-up bonus.  Things seem to be perfect, until (of course) his identity gets stolen by Diana, a professional scammer in Florida.  In short time, his accounts are dried up, hid credit suffering, and a warrant is out for his arrest due to Diana getting arrested for assault and not showing up for her trial.  Despite clearing things up with Denver police, Sandy is still in danger of losing his new job because of his sudden bad credit/criminal record. 

That's when Sandy gets an idea.  Diana has to get arrested under local Florida law first, in which there is still about a year wait for Sandy to get his shot at redemption in court.  So Sandy decides to go to Florida and convince Diana to return to Denver and explain things to his boss in order to save his career.  What Sandy doesn't plan to tell her is that police will be listening in on the confession, thereby getting her arrested and subject to Denver law.  But from their first meeting, it's clear that this mission won't be as easy as expected, as Sandy has to contend not only with Diana's inherent skills at escaping capture, but staying clear of an assassin duo sent to kill her, and a bounty hunter looking to capture her.




Like throat punches? That's good, because you'll see it over, and over, and over....

 This movie as a comedy is TERRIBLE!!  It wasn't until the 40 minute mark where I so much as snickered for the first time.  I never outright laughed at anything done or said, and I could count on one hand the times I chuckled period.  And as this movie is two hours long, that is unacceptable.  I actually had to stop watching at approximately the one hour mark, just because I couldn't handle how utterly boring and dumb this movie was.  There must have been something they could have done to cut down the running time.  This is a situation where a Special Edition would actually be a cut version of the movie.  

The character of Diana has ZERO redeeming qualities about her.  She ruins peoples lives and only give a shit about herself.  Despite this, the movie tries over and over to make me like her.  She repeatedly physically and verbally assaults Sandy during their time together, and the first time Sandy fires off some insults back at her, she gets this sad pouty face and walks away.  Am I supposed to feel sorry for her at this point?  Well sorry, she got only a fraction of what she deserved at that point.  Eventually, as you can easily predict, Sandy and Diana start to get along with each other, and during the last third of the movie Diana is less of a total bitch than she was earlier.  But by that point (much earlier actually) I stopped caring.  She deserved everything that happens to her in this movie.  Though ultimately I preferred her ultimate fate to be brought back to Denver instead of killed, as I was rooting for Sandy to succeed.

Now you may be asking yourselves, "If Identity Thief is so horrible, why isn't this a CRAP! review?"  Well, the answer is simple; this was actually a very well acted movie.  Like I just said, Jason Bateman's performance as Sandy was good enough that I rooted for him to get his life back to normal.  As well, even though I HATED the character of Sandy, Melissa McCarthy did a fantastic job of making me hate her.  And not only was she the main source of my chuckles with some of her line deliveries, she is quite a capable physical actress, doing most of her own stunts. 

John Doggett's life has been in a downward spiral since leaving the FBI.

If there's one thing (among many) this movie needed, it was more Robert Patrick.  Whether it's something awesome like Terminator 2, or something Awesomely horrible like Double Dragon, Patrick is consistently on his game.  And Identity Thief really should have given him more screen time.  His role as the bounty hunter Skiptracer was my favorite in the whole thing, but he only had a few scenes, which was a damn shame.  In fact, no disrespect to T.I and Genesis Rodriguez intended, as they also did a good job as the assassins looking to kill Diana, but I would have preferred Skiptracer be the only one chasing Diana.  It would have cut the running time a little, and it would have been more Robert Patrick dammit!!

Well, I certainly feel better after that rant.  If you haven't seen Identity Thief, don't.  It's two hours of an unfunny comedy that practically orders you to care about an unlikeable character.  And no amount of great acting was able to save it.  There you have it. 

Movie Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
Comedy Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

-I'm Ken Bucklesworth, and that's the truth.

@KenBucklesworth, @BoonsBuckles

Damn you terrorist scum - The man is on VACATION!

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD (2013)

BRUNO!

BRUCE! 

BALD AWESOME GUY!

These are some of the names used to describe the man, the myth, the legend that is Bruce "I'm so cool I shit snowballs" Willis. The man is action movie gold what can I say. The last boy scout, last man standing, Fifth Element, Lucky Number Slevin... And you know, he wanted to prove he could do dramatic action with Striking Distance, Tears of the Sun, Sin City, Bandits (very underrated!), Twelve Monkeys... Oh and least we forget the man was in PULP FICTION. He is all over pulp culture and the hollywood landscape, but no character her has ever played has equalled that of the DIE HARd franchise, and the lead - John McClane. 

So the plot to most Die Hard film is as follows. Poor, normal cop guy with attitude - McClane runs across a terrorist heist/attack of some kind. He of course is forced due to moral heroicness to intervene, then they somehow involve his family and he gets super pissed and kills everything. Bad guys, buildings, lots of vehicles, windows... everything. 

This time around McClane is off to Russia to meet and hopefully reconnect with his son. The problem with that is that his estranged son is all in trouble with the law for being a lawbreaker. In Russia they really frown on that. John shows up, a terrorist attack happens... turns out his son is undercover (not evil) and well... John tries to help him. Though that will be hard because his son is a daddy issue douche, and well dammit McClane is so unmotivated to kick ass since he's ON VACATION. 

Yup. He's on vacation and you will hear that stupid, annoying, not that funny the first time - line... about six times in the film... I think. So begins the long list of issues with this film.

Ya. Um, no reason for this photo, I mean she's in the movie, Just ah, heard sex sells... boonsweet!

1. His son sucks. Not cool. Not likeable. 

2. Really, its not his son's, or the actor's (Jai Courtney's) fault... there is no writing. I mean literally nothing for the characters to do outside of yelling and blowing shit up. I mean Bruce manages to salvage a few scenes... But he's had 4 films to master the character. But Jack McClane has no chance. 

3. His daughter was cooler. In the 30 secs she's on a screen, I was reminded how much better she looked in peril. The son gets douchier. 

4. Back to the writing. Really, it's that bad, and they know it so they just try to insert as much explosions and destruction as possible.

5. You may now be saying - But Boony, number 4 actually sounds pretty cool. Maybe random chaos is not so bad? - and you would be right except that the direction on many occasions is horrid. Awesome cool long range shot of the action BAM cut to a bunch of quick cuts of WTF is happening. Oh! There's an explosion. I mean this is the guy that directed MAX PAYNE. Ya. Been 5 years since he'd touched a film so sure why not give him one of the most beloved franchises. 

6. Bruce Willis. John McClane is one of the coolest creations ever. He talks to himself. He bitches constantly, and he gets messed up saving the day. He's human - Like. There is barely any trademarked talking to self. The famous Yippie - Ky- Yay line is used at such a retarded moment it doesn't matter.

7. And fine... I'll make this my last point. The villain sucks. Just sucks. Uninteresting, stupid, and really sadly there is no one in Russia they spend any time making you care about. Everyone you meet is crooked, or an assassin, so who cares if they all go boom (sorry I love russia, but really they didn't even give us one shot of russia children in peril to make us care).

So. With more leather. Really, I just didn't have anything funny to say, so ... leather. 

Sigh.

I am so sad right now. After the awesome that was "The Last Stand" I was really pulling for another great McClane adventure and this just isn't it. Don't get me wrong, I hear there is another one on the way... and god help me... I will go. Because it can't be worse.

You know there are a few scenes in here. First the action is impressive. Though badly shot, there are parts that really do inspire giggly awe. Once his son de-douches he is definitely tolerable. And the last scene of the film could have been a beautiful moment if the rest of the film hadnt destroyed your feeling for the McClane bond. 

This is a watch only for your love of Bruce film. 

Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars.

Action Scale 2.5 out of 5 stars.

I cannot believe I just gave a Die Hard film a 2.5 on an action scale. This... this is a sad day of anti-manness. Bruuuuunooooooooooo! Why.... 

Chuck Boony... saying F this. I'm on Vacation!

Follow me @ Tallwhitefox

or the occasion film rant @BoonsBuckles. 

Who says romance is dead?

WARM BODIES (2013)

Ok. So zombies are currently experiencing an 80s fashion like revival. Blame (or congratulate) The Walking Dead for that. So there was only a finite amount of time until someone truly PG'd it and fed it to the masses. Now for all us True horror fans (see how I group myself with you, you should feel awesomer) that could cause some deep bowel like pain. But should it really? I mean, isn't a mainstream zombie flick still have that "Maybe the kids will turn out all right" feel to it? Something that Twilight, or the upcoming Mortal Instruments could never accomplish.

Dammit. I enjoyed this movie. That's really what I'm trying to say but I figured I should at least try to set up some reasons before throwing myself before the true horror tribunal.

First, I will go through the plot. The zombie apocalypse happened. Zombies tour the world at large looking for humans to eat, and humans stay safe behind a giant wall, only venturing out for grub, and medicine. One zombie (to later be named "R") has had an unfortunate development; He thinks. About everything. There are also Zombie level 2's that they call "Boneys". These are zombies that have evolved into complete death monster things. Whatever. Anyway, he and a group of zombies voyage off one day for food. At the same time a group of human surviving young adults voyage from the city on a mission for supplies. They meet, and while R is eating her boyfriend, he decides that he must save "Julie" from death at the hands of his friends. He disguises her scent and takes her back to his lair. An abandoned airplane. And well, from there he starts to um... warm up. And regain his abilities to be something closer to human.

Wait, sooo... You're team edward?

Second, this film is written and directed by Jonathan Levine. A man who is responsible for one tripped out little teen flick The wackiness and one of my all time fav as-of-yet-unreleased horror treasures all the boys love mandy lane. So I didn't doubt the directing would be bang on and it is. Never afraid to transition from some cheese moment directly into peril. With ease. The acting in this film is good, very good, though John Malkovich really does do shit all. The leads however, Nicholas Holt (who I now begin to forgive for participation in Jack the Giant Slayer) and Teresa Palmer (So very hot that I almost called this review - She'd warm my dead parts up... Ya. Almost) have undeniable likeability and connection. That makes the movie. Period. If the leads were less awesome, and cute, and believable, the movie would crash and burn (shout out to - Hackers). Here's one thing I was not expecting, a voice over that rocks! The narrative from R is grand. Even providing perhaps... (deep breath)... the best explanation for why Zombies eat brains I have ever heard. Yup. True story Bro. Unlike a lot of movies where the narrative feels forced, or there simply to explain plot, R is a zombie, so he can't really communicate, so we need to hear his thoughts... and they entertain.

You're dance moves are like dead sexy girl....

Rob Corddry has a nice roll as R's undead bestie. They have a nice moment sitting at an airport cafeteria grunting at each other. Because as R says some days its almost like we have real conversations. 

Listen, if you just wanna rewatch your Night of the Living deads, and Zombi 2s, and such, awesome, I support that. But if you enjoy seeing different takes, and ideas within the genre... I.E. Fido, Ahhh Zombies, and some of the other cool takes, this should be right up your alley. I wish there was a little more violence, of course, I am Chuck B Boonsweet afterall. But, I had fun, and because of the leads was invested in the romance portion of the film much more than I thought I would be. The boneys are a nice villain, however, I would have been waaaaaay more impressed is they were practical as well (instead of looking like skin less versions of the whatever-the-hell-they-weres from  I AM LEGEND)

Over all, fun. Some laughs, some sexy, and some brains.... trifecta I say!

As a zombie fan I look at this as I do KUNG FU PANDA ... seriously. Stay with me for a sec. I love kung fu/martial art flicks. Violent crazy cool stuff. But I love Kung Fu panda too, with the same zeal for the kung fu but with a sprinkle of the inner child. Thats exactly why I dug this one. I love zombie films... crazy, bloody, body ripping.... but I enjoyed this too. Blame the inner child... that I too often allow to be outer.... :P

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Horror Comedy scale 4 out of 5 stars.

Bring your kids. If you have kids. If not, maybe this film will inspire you to practice... with loved ones.... lol
1 last thought. Nicky Holt really does sell the zombie in this film. Watch his movement/running as the film evolves so does his movement. I thought it was a nice touch, and I could almost hear the director off screen "No, less shoulder, more stumble! More Stumble!" 

:)(:

- Chuck Boonsweet says Teresa Palmer can bring the dead to life! Probably. Still waiting on the scientific data.

Ninja Movie Of the Month May'13

NINJA IN THE DRAGON'S DEN (1982)

Hoooooooe doggie have I got a ninja foot to face flick for you Booniacs and Buckleheads this month. First the closest I can come to a ridiculously cheesy and awesome opening... this film had me at "Hello". And by hello I mean the film equivalent, the first 5 minutes. Which contains, horrible theme music that is strangely awesome (featuring lines like - Ninja fight, show honour, ninja die), and Ninjas in training. Many ninjas doing ninja things like digging holes to hide in and scaling walls. I mean in all honesty, all the many NMOTM entries here at B&B, this one had to have the most Ninja filled credits. Then the film continues...

So there is a super kung fu guy in town. He does things like save villagers from douches, and well, just busies himself being an all around good guy. Using his powers for good. Meanwhile, there is an evil "Ninja" of equal skill on a mission of revenge, hunting down those he deems responsible for a great misdeed.

Yup. So a typical, and cool, plot. What makes this movie sooooooo VERY worthy of this here review is the Ninja action. The Ninjas actual do Ninja things. Smoke bombs, ninja traps, assassinations. And how is the fighting you ask? Damn impressive. The opening major fight sequence has our Hero battling a bunch of punks at a festival. The highlight being an insane stunt work of kungfuery where he battles on stilts for three-four minutes. I mean, its not too often I am in awe of a scene. But stilts... and back flips on stilts... gold!

Um, guys, I really have to go... 

And the hits keep right on rolling. First the plot is simple and unpolluted so you don't have any WTF moments to worry about. The humour is actually well times, and on occasion translates well. The acting is decent. The stunt work is nuts. Another great scene of Ninja ness is the confrontation between the two leads. How they go trap for trap, move for move. Even a cool part where the Ninja takes out the light because in the darkness he has the advantage... seeee! Gold!

The violence is defs fun and wonderfully over the top at times.

I really have nothing negative to say about this film. One of my fav Ninja flicks ever now, and on the list of coolest classic kung fu. If you are a chop-sockey fan and have yet to scope this flick out - make time. I mean not that you wouldn't after my glowing recommendation. :)

The fights are all well designed, and lengthy... no bullshit cop out here. Though at times the humour is a little misplaced. But I guess they figured it would help wash down all that blood shed... well damn it... I like my violence straight no-chaser!

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Ninja scale 4 out of 5 stars.

Just want to say I am stoked for the new K-Reeves flick - Man from Tai-chi.
How sic does that look! Man they really just don't make them like this any more ...

Follow me are send your thoughts my way @Tallwhitefox
My Occasional film rants @BoonBuckles

And I'm out this piece yo! But I'm walking, cause I'm outta smoke pellets...

-CB Boonsweet.

To boldly go - where they kinda sorta went before...

STAR TREK (2013)

I grew up on Star Trek. Now before you go thinking I was running around with felt points glued to the top of my ears... No... I am not a life long trekkie. I simply mean it was on, and available and often watched in my household. Prepare yourself for a Boony life-bit: I grew up in a small home with a smaller TV and only two channels... and one of them was french. Soooooo Trek was a welcome distraction. And well, now you might kind of understand my deep love of film... and giant TVs. Moving on, I did follow Trek through the years. There is part of me that loves sic-fi and it hard to argue Treks lasting effect, and scope, within the realm.

So a few years back JJ "I put on my pants one leg at a time like everyone else, but when I get my pants on I make gold record- wait, I mean Billion Dollar films yo!" Abrams, remade the beloved franchise from the beginning. And wow, did he ever. I mean the first ten minutes of the film are straight up on par with the greatest openings in film history. The rest of the film delivered. Did it ever. Turning legions of people that denounced trek for years into fans. The casting was great - Chris Pine as Captain Kirk. Zachary Quinto - as the loveable emotionless Spock, Zoe Saldana - as the very hot communication expert, Uhura.

Now they all return to burn up the screen in another awesome sic-fi adventure.

Or do they? (dramatic pause)

The plot goes like this. Kirk is still headstrong and follows his gut, Spock is still a goody two shoes, and well Uhura is still hot. So A guy decides he dislikes the federation and starts blowing up stuff trying to lay the ground work for a war. Kirk goes after him. Along the way we will have to see if Kirk can learn control, humility, and if Spock can embrace his human side ...

And thats it. All you need. Cause spoilers are for sun dried milk (Ya my slang is tight!) All the classic stuff you could want is here... Explosions. Exploding control panels. Exploding ships. Bodies hurled into space. Exploding explosions. Big ships with laser guns. Bigger ships with bigger guns. Klingons. Space sex. Oh did I mention Alice Eve is in this? Ya. Space sex.

Anyway, lets get into this. First, trek at its core has always been the debate between the burden of the entitled and those not so. The lines between helpful society and over bearing war force, and of course the bromance between Spock and Kirk. Let me address the D-bags saying the supporting characters didn't get enough time in this one... seriously? Have you ever... ever watched an episode of the show? Kirk. Spock. McCoy. And well, once every 5-10 episodes someone else got involved in a lead role. The side players get more time here than they had in the last film. Sulu gets a chair moment, Chekov has a slightly more than last time role, Scotty is all over this bitch, and ok Uhura really doesn't do much ore than mean Mug Spock. Still, I was satisfied. The bromance was prime. Lots of debating about the "Do not interfere with undeveloped species" Directive. Debating the needs of the many out weighing the needs of the few... all gold.

Spock, baby. I Um, don't think a human can, um, do it like that..

And the action is awesome. I mean just jaw droppingly good. The opening Volcano scene is just impressive... But.

Ya there's a but.

It just doesn't connect with the audience as much as the first entry. First the villain (brilliantly played by Benedict Cumberbatch) is amazing and yet, lacking just the smallest something. Like a third dimension? You'll understand when you see it. The action is amazing, but in the spaces between it really doesn't expand on the characters as much as I expected. It's more just time used to explain the next crazy set up for more exploding things. Most of the characterization takes place in the midst of the action and well, it's a little hard to feel saddy things while my man parts are being overloaded with adrena-juice (that, that was a fun sentence lol). I think I would have been happy with the slow burn of the first. Letting the film build to a final 30 minutes of action, but the action is good. And they know it. So they have no shame using it as popcorn munching eye candy filler. And well, I really didn't mind that much.

Alice Eve... um why did she and Kirk not get a moment? Big issue there. Even a "we're gunna die" type moment. Nothing. Luckily both actors are so damn attractive and charismatic that we get the connection anyway, but still... what the F.

I'm sorry. Were you expecting alien "Parts"? 

Yes I am aware my picture quotes are more hormone filled than usual. It's summer. And, dammit If I make it through this review without a "I'd explore that garden of Eve" joke... it will be a miracle...

To anyone that is complaining or has heard the complaining about the ties to the original film... (deep sigh) Shaddup. Listen. We here at Boonsweet & Bucklesworth did not do spoilers (with the exception of the CRAP! segment of course, for your own good) because at the end of the day you need to be able to see a film without prior knowledge of key plot if you so chose. You. Your opinion is the one that matters, and that should be unpolluted. I loved the twists. As a man familiar with the original, they really played on that knowledge. I mean Trekkies... what do you want? Them to remake a film word for word with beloved pastness.

LOL.

But sometimes it does seem thats what these damn super Fan B-boys want. Well, sorry, thats just silly. You're silly.

Movie Scale 3.5 out 5 stars
Sci-fi scale 4 out of 5 stars.

Its fun. Its big. Its cool. And sexy. And well, its just... My issues were minor. I really did enjoy this. Not to the level of the previous, and well, I think the first (however slight) crack in JJ's invincibility (and yes it will still make a ton of cash as it should). If they ever do get around to a 3rd film, I have the suspicion JJ will be nowhere near it... perhaps he will be in galaxy... far, far, away... had to :)

-Boonsweet is of to explore strange new short shorts, and boldly go where only 10-24 men have been before...

Giggity.

Follow my shizzie @tallwhitefox or my occasional film ranting @BoonsBuckles

IT'S CINCO DE TREJO!!!

BADASS (2012)

Well folks, Cinco De Mayo has come and gone, and I deemed it necessary to review a movie with a Latino edge to it.  Lo and behold, I stumbled across Badass, starring Danny "I'm In Damn Near Everything Out There" Trejo.  Rocking a mean beard that reminded me of Sid Haig circa 'Devil's Rejects', and a bad ass belt pouch, he's cleaning up the mean streets in style.  Let's dive in and see what we're in for.

This is the story of Frank Vega, a simple Mexican-American who just wanted to serve his country in the Vietnam War.  Unfortunately, a bullet to the leg ended ended his time there early.  That was the first in a run of bad luck.  Upon his return to America, he learns his girlfriend has moved on and started a family, his application to the town police academy is rejected, and he gets turned down repeatedly by companies he looks to work for.  He winds up working a hot dog stand until present day.... 

Things take a brief turn upwards when he stands up to a couple of skinheads picking on an old man on a bus, thoroughly kicking their asses when they didn't stop pushing him.  The scuffle gets recorded and posted online, making him a minor celebrity in the town.  These good times don't last however.  A few months later, his best friend gets shot in an alley.  When it hits him that the cops aren't doing enough to solve this crime, he finally decides to get some justice of his own.

Yes you are Danny, yes you are.

This is a rare flick in that there is a protagonist that I not only like, he actually tugged on my heartstrings here and there.  And it was Danny Trejo playing him!!  Don't get me wrong, I've never been disappointed in the roles I've seen Danny play.  But this flick made me feel a lot of sympathy for the character of Frank Vega.  He has had a rough life, and to see him get praise and respect from his fellow townsfolk tugged my heartstrings in a way that an emotionless robot like myself rarely feel.  This may be a surprise, given the huge roles Danny has played, but this may be one of my all-time favorite performances of his.  It was nice to see him play a character who is humble, shy to a certain point, and actually doesn't want to fight anybody unless absolutely necessary. 

As far as the rest of the movie goes, I felt the supporting cast also did a very good job in their roles.  Anybody watching this to see Ron Perlman may be disappointed, as his part is very small, only a couple of talking scenes.  Another of the biggest pluses of the movie is the camerawork.  The shaky cam that's become so sickeningly popular was kept to a minimum, which nowadays makes me want to give a two star minimum just for any movie having scenes I can actually watch. 

Aww, shit.  Now I gotta do The Stranger with my good hand!!

If there is one downside, there really isn't a whole lot of action.  There are a number of fights, but Trejo jacks most of the bad guys up really quickly.  The end fight is decent enough though, but nothing truly epic.

In the end, I totally recommend watching Badass.  It may not look like much, but it's got it where it counts.  Well, except for gratuitous nudity that is.

Movie Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Action Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

- Ken Bucklesworth, over and out.