Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Force Awakens (2015)

SWEET LIGHT SABERS... DID I JUST FEEL THE FORCE?



So here it is. It has arrived and myself was lucky enough to see it in a tiny town... hours before the rest of the world... HA! Boonsweet in your face! Jokes. I heart you all. So I do not do spoilers... (well unless a flick lands in my CRAP! segment) in this case however it is even more important. Not because the film is full of insane twists and turns... but because there are few films on earth these days that have the power to move an entire planet of people. STAR WARS has that power... and I feel, for all my jedi loving ways... THE FORCE AWAKENS delivers.

So the story well, without getting too much into it... A new evil has arisen "The new Order"... there's a new darkside... and man we need to find us some jedi! Enter A spunky, and space sexy 'Rey' played by the soon to universal nerd lusted - Daisy Ridley - and her co star, a storm trooper with a soul Finn. Together with the old gang they are gunna try to rescue the universe from going dark... again....

I didn't do it... I didn't do it... 

K.

So there are going to be a lot of people that love this movie and why not? It is every inch the grandeur of the original trilogy (aka 4,5,6... aka when they said it was FORCE!). Theres a cute funny droid... theres a mask wearing bad guy doing his best darth vader.... There's Han Solo, and Leia, and a certain tall furry creature. There's the bad guys with laser blasters, and good guys with laser blasters... and Light Sabers, and exploding things... and more exploding things... and well... its all here folks. Everything you have been waiting for in a new Star Wars.

Basically disney and J.J. Abrams sat down and said lets give the people what they want.

But therein lies the problem. When you give people what they want they inevitably want more. It has to be said. This film is basically the first trilogy rolled into one, or at least a good chunk of it. Same plot points, same twists, merrily similar moments, homages, they do nothing but try to be a new version of everything you love. I myself did not have a problem with it, because THAT IS WHAT I WANTED. Grand space spectacle of the highest order. And nothing, from the sounds, to the overly heroic plot, can ever be done like they do it with STAR WARS.

But!!

Then I was like screw it, and went chrome bro. 
There will be haters. Yes. Those star wars tattoo'd (i know what George Lucas wanted more than he did) are gunna rise up... the same people that said But its not enough like the original trilogy, its not what we love - so we hate it when the last trilogy came around... are gunna be the same people spearheading the It's too much like the originals, all you did was copy what we loved - so we hate it this time around. I warn you - do not choose the darkside!

This film is entertainment for days! Let free the bruised star wars love of your childhood years! It well be well held and loved... and cared for here... amongst the theatre as THE FORCE AWAKENS.

Ok. I'm stoked. Is it the greatest star wars? No. Of course no. Plus, lets remember the first star wars film is no ones fav... and the second - first - newest - whatever - trilogy, phantom menace was again no ones fav, so this does what firsts in the series have before it. Introduces - hero - bad guy - coolness, and sets up a new journey ahead...

and now with all this homage out of the way... MAN i am pumped to see where this goes... sure if you are clever enough you can already see some familiar threads weaving themselves together... but perhaps... that is all to set us up. Just saying in the next few months all the debating set to explode between the Jedis in all of us... enjoy it! its been way to long. Star Wars is back! But trust me... don't get too smart thinking you know all thats up... there are some twists to come folks...

And this new expanded universe... such be very cool.

Movie scale 4 out of 5 stars
Action/SciFi scale 4 out of 5 stars

One line review: The FORCE is back! 

Chuck B. Boonsweet... is it wrong I want to buy a light saber now... Damn you disney!!

#TheForceAwakens
#STARWARS

Monday, December 7, 2015

1001 Undead nights

People. Boonsweet writes!!



So you may have noticed... and I mean of course you noticed what with your wicked addiction to all my movie loving thoughts... I haven't exactly been cranking out the reviews lately - my sincere apologies... but there have been reasons. Some without merit to be mentioned here... haha... some you must know. I wrote a book! Actually my second. But this is a work straight from my film and horror loving heart to you guys... My Bioniacs!!! My alter ego... my real ego... my ego... whatever... some part of me wrote this. 13 short stories of terror, humour, love, and bloody terror... tried to capture the fun of the horror anthology most of us have enjoyed on television and on film... in a book. Yes. My brain is ambitious.

Moral of the story (this article I am pretty sure my book is moral-less haha) .... preview and decide to purchase HERE ... or at your local amazon internet locale... show it to friends... laugh, cry, and forgive my independent author mistakes hahaha... hopefully there's enough blood, and sexy, and giggles, to excuse them. This is an independent horror book... I hopes the fans that seek out independent horror films... will bring some of the same excitement, and hunger for all things horror and B movie fun!!

And be sure to hit me up with all the good, or bad, you wish to pass my way people. Let my world domination begin!!!!!

Also. More reviews now.

:)(:

Till next Bioniacs! Thanks for all the support over the years. I also love seeing the views from all over the world, places I never been, and never thought my film rants would reach....

Chuck Boonsweet... aka J.D. Richard is out!!

Paper Towns (2015)

PAPER THIN FILM MAKING



So I want to be straight up and say that I both read and loved the Novel this film was based on. Though I have never read anything else John Green (aka the Author of The Fault in Our stars) has done, I saw the trailer to this film... then saw the book and thought - why the hell not.

This is the only book I have ever read in one sitting from cover to cover. Now, granted part of that was the simplicity of the book... the other thing though, was really how much I enjoyed the whole dang story.

Anyway... before I go too far... your story goes: A boy, Quentin (aka the teen movie guy du-jour Nat Wolff) grows up hopelessly in love with his neighbour Margo (played by the ridiculously well known and attractive model Cara Delevingne). After years of no contact with her she pulls him into a revenge plot against her cheating boyfriend. After a night of crazy adventure, Quentin thinks he will finally have the girl of his dreams... only she disappears... and he (along with a rag tag group of friends) will follow the breadcrumbs he left to try to find out what exactly happened to Margo.

Seriously, I am so screwing up this selfie thing
Here is the thing guys. I write. Novels. Scripts. I sure as Kaka aint made no millions... but I have had to transfer a short story to a script/screenplay format on several occasions... and I understand that changes have to made when transferring between mediums. I get that. I am ok with that. However the one thing I will never get with big studio films... is why they feel they almost without fail have to drastically alter the ending.

Why? I mean 5 million people bought this book. Then 5 Million people bought a ticket to see the film... does anyone... really... REALLY think those folks were like... Man I hope they change the ending so that it surprises me! No. Incorrect. Those people rolled in saying - Man I hope these hollywood A-holes didn't mess the damn story up. 

You know for the most part this is not only a very good movie... but also a pretty faithful adaptation of the source material. The acting is spot on with both leads being well supported by the youthful (and sweet hell teens that actually are teens, or well, close enough - awesome) cast. Cara D in her first real role on the big screen is pretty good here. The director does a solid job combining the mystery of the film with the teen coming of age type thing... and the screen writers do a great job condensing the story while maintaining all the key points...

Noooo.... you smell my finger....
Though in the Novel the journey to find margo takes months and here it is a matter of a week? Two weeks? Something like that. I think they could have added a few minutes of time lapse, and the exhaustive search Quentin goes on in the book... but all good. I get it, and enough of the story makes it through to endear the audience to the characters... even those not familiar with the book.

It is simply put... a charming Teen flick, with perhaps a little more heart than most. You know where in chasing the girl he wants, are would be hero learns more about himself and the world in which he inhabits... that kinda thing.

However, I have to say this. They altered the ending. And in fact brutally crush the hope with which the book ended.

Has anyone read Dickens? Ha. Sigh. It's prob just me. Well my fav book by the classic Author is Great Expectations. The ending to that book is book painful and yet has this slimmer... this shining crack of beautiful and possible hope. Paper Towns the Novel ended much the same. Sad. And with heart pains, but with the teasing shimmer of hope.

In a movie like this... a whimsical tale of self discovery and first love... ending the film as they did here, absent satisfying conclusion was the wrong call. I have understood the pangs of teen love... especially first love... the ending simply cannot work here. The book's ending... had many of the same pieces... yet as I said... That shimmer of hope... that no matter how twisted and foolish love might be... no matter how blinding... in the end sometimes the heart... might just win.

Sadly without that narrative for the end... perhaps thinking the audience would not get it... ignoring the fact 50-75% of their audience would more than likely be people that read the Novel or wiki'd it before the movie ... haha... that happens... they have essentially made this only a teen buddy flick... and with the movie and story built around the search for Margo... their simply is not enough there to hang the end of this movie on.

Still, to anyone unfamiliar with the book. There is certainly worse ways to spend an hour and 46 minutes of your life... watching Rosewood for example (seriously was that not the worst pilot that has ever made it to a season premier - dang). And the fun is inherent in the movie you will smile a few times, and enjoy curling next to your loved one.

Its a quick fun trip, with a lacklustre pay off... but fun. More than a match for any of the would be teen cry yourself to sleep in a pillow type flicks we have been getting lately haha. No seriously. What the hell.

Movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Teen drama scale 3 out of 5 stars.

ONE LINE REVIEW: CUTE CAST, CUTE FLICK, THAT IS ALL. 

Till Next Booniacs.

#Papertowns

-Boonsweet.

Spectre (2015)

MAN I LOVE ME SOME BONDAGE...



So I have seen every bond movie. I love most of them all be it for different reasons. And before you are like Oh this Boonsweet, he's one of those guys that can have his faith in bond shaken but never stirred... I say hold up! I admit when they are weak... totally fine with me. However I stand behind the statement that within each decade, any bad Bond movie is still better than 90% of the action offerings of the time.

Before I go further... because I could rant... and all you Bioniacs know I can rant...

Your Plot.

Turns out there has been someone behind the scenes who through all 3 of Daniel Craigs bond films has tried to destroy the world and Bond. Now in the fourth film Bond will come face to face with the man behind the curtain, and another piece of his past (clearly an attempt to cash in on Skyfall's brilliant premise). Oh and their will be hot chicks. And explosions.

So is this film as good as Skyfall ? No. That seems to be the new gold standard all bond films are to be held against (though for my money From Russia with Love is still the gold standard). That said this is a very fun and well put together bond film... for nearly two hours... and then things fall apart.

The action scenes in this film are exactly - EXACTLY!! - what makes a bond movie special. No other film could get the funding to produce such insane action set pieces. The opening scene is gold... but for my moment the second major action set piece is worth the price of admission. I mean... a car chase through the winter mountains... only its a plane car chase... yes!

I don't always skii... but when I do... I bring my gun. 

The other reason, why for my two cents... this film was actually superior to Skyfall for the well over the first half was the touches with past bonds. Sure there are call outs to casino royal and Skyfall but really, the respect for the classics of the past... really make this film feel like a love letter to the fans of over 4 decades of bond. The train fight for example... is amazing! and every inch the loving tribute to the insanely violent end fight of From russia with Love - seriously, triangle choke holds and UFC moves in a 1964 film? So good. Annnnnnnnnnd having the henchman not speak... nice touch.

The woman in this film - debate her appropriate hotness all you want fan boys - is not only hot, but for once, seems able to hold her own. You could argue Michelle Yeoh held her own in Tomorrow never dies but really, was she bond level hot? Maybe. Mostly she just kicked good ass. Lea Seydoux is smart, sexy, and fun. I approved.

So, your saying the queen is the most powerful... Mind = blown. 
In fact everything up until the villain/bond torture scene is gold. If they had adjusted the story to wrap up there... This might have been the Bond film... the problem is that for unknown reasons they decide to have a second showdown/reveal with the main villain... that becomes a wait - what did he just say? wait... why is he still talking about killing bond and not killing bond... wait... how did he set this elaborate reveal up for James Bond... if you know... he sent all those minions to kill him?

hahaha honestly the last 25 minutes of this film is embarrassing. Straight up, embarrassing. If you were the 8 screen writer they called in and that was your idea... Shame on you!

It drags out what had been an amazingly fun experience into this slow crawl of a finale... I mean the gun toss? Sweet hell... almost the worst moment of the Bond film... and really maybe it is... the question is it worse than the If all that was left of you was your pinky you'd still be more man than I've ever know line from Casino Royale. I don't know... it may be a tie.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Action scale 4 out of 5 stars

One line review: two hours of awesome, 17 minutes of suck. 

This film does not deserve the hate it has been getting. Its what The raid 2 experienced, and what I'm sure the next John Wick will... oh its just not as good as the last one. So what?! Did stop me from enjoying the star wars sequel/prequels ... they were still fun reasonably awesome. They won't all be 5/5 stars people!!!!

Boonsweet is out yo!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

I spit on your grave 3 (2015)

More blood, more gross out, less awesome.



Folks.
It is ok to enjoy a solid revenge flick. Be it Thriller: They call her one eye, Death Wish (and the what 5 sequels?) ... and the list is long believe me... the genre has been around long enough that the audience is there. And every once and a while when hollywood dresses it up with a big name star in the lead (Taken) its obvious everyone loves them a solid revenge flick. The rewarding part of the revenge flick is this: All the violence dished out to the villains is warranted... usually because they have done something horrible to children, or mostly women... and now they will all get their - oh-so-just desserts... so we can sit back and enjoy all the violence and chaos... guilt free... because - them guys had it coming.

Or. Well, that's my Freud Bomb on it.

So if you have not seen any of these films before, this is not the one to start with. The story goes as such... Jennifer Hills, having survived the group assault in the first film, and exacted her revenge (and remaining uncaught)... has moved to try to put her life together, and changed her name. She joins a rape therapy group type thing where she meets a friend... but then realizes there's all these men just raping people out there and someone should do something about it... in extremely violent ways.

Why do I have a 1950s hair cut in a 2015 movie? Good question. Seriously. Next...
This movie made one huge, gigantic, mistake - it forgot the first part of the revenge flick. Unlike the first two films in the series (three is you count the 1978 cult original) there is no graphic horror to balance out the violence in the film. No disgusting act that allows you to root for the heroine to dispatch her justice. Instead what you have is essential talking for an hour. Talking in group. Talking to therapist. And every once in a while she day dreams about murdering someone.

No one is attacked. No deed is blasted across the screen that makes the men cringe and the girls look away... instead we are treated to what I can only call a rather thoughtful script that tries to make a few statements about men, and how women are treated, and for that matter - treat themselves. Sure, thats all fine and good... but this movie is called I spit on your grave - part freaking 3. I am not here to debate the merits of punishment and police handling of assault cases.

This first two films were visceral. Enraging, you couldn't help but cheer when these horrible people were getting theirs... here well, you find yourself just rooting for something... anything to happen. Then when it does get going... they make their second... and most unforgivable error... they make the hero bat shit crazy.

Seriously, seriously, pipe down! 
I get she is damaged. I get she is all psycho avenger... but having her lose her mind... really, kind of undermines the entire structure of the film. She can't be strong, and empowered and raising up against the evil of the new millennium man is she's actually just loco... and hates every man - ever.

Horrible.

Ok that said. Like the other two films I thought they got a lot out of the actors here. I mean selling some of the horrible acts in these films is not easy, and again, the violence here - when it happens - does comes across as really intense (the whole two scenes of it). The script though for the first half having really nothing at all to make it similar to the previous two films... does manage to evoke some laughs... and real moments. The direction, as with the other two films is spot on, and does not shy away...

There just isn't enough here. Part of the series allure is the "What are they gunna do to this guy?!" and well... they just remove that concept in favour of "Lets make a statement of society" ... which again... in a lifetime movie, fine... but in this series - WRONG! wrongwrongwrongwrongwrong.

Still, it is heads and shoulders above many direct to video (with a small theatre release) offerings, and the violence in the two major scenes, is absolutely bananas. I still think the first two films are fair and away superior... but if they bounce back to the grit and horror in the next entry, I will forgive them the social commentary excursion.

Horror/revenge scale : 2.5 out of 5 stars
Move scale: 2.5 out of 5 stars

One Line review: The thinking man's B grade revenge thriller, ish. 

Till next Booniacs!

-CBB

Final Girl (2015)

Something about a sexy blonde...



Every once in a while a film within the horror genre comes along with an Idea that is, for all intents and purposes, Unique. Final Girls to me, seemed to be one of these films. Now, when I - a lifelong horror enthusiast - encounter such a film, I review it with a certain restraint, because in a genre so over populated with beentheredonethat ... original ideas should be appreciated.

That said. Let's get into it.

So your plot: A young girl, after the death of her Mother, is recruited by the smoldering eyes of "Un-named character" (played by Wes Bentley)... and trained for the next twelve years to be a killer of slasher types. Or well, really evil murdering types. The full grown Veronica (played by the always fun Abigail Breslin) is set loose on a group of murdering young men to exact justice.

Ok. Right. Sounds fun. And bloody and cool. There are a few problems here though... 1st Veronica tries her best but Abigail can't ever really make her seem intimidating or actually capable of all this superhuman man destruction. There is a part where she chokes a guy out about 3 times her size... All I could think was - hit her, and she'll be done, and you can go on breathing.

Wait, what? Thats how pretty little liars ends? Well... ok try explaining it again...
Unlike a Jessica Biel, Sarah Michelle Gellar, etc... she just doesn't come across as tough. Now is that her fault, I don't think so. She is a talented actress, but I think the time devoted to training her, and making you believe she can be tough is just lacking.

The directing is pretty good. A few things how ever... like the forest... at night... apparently being lit by a giant spotlight... seem just... horribly set up. It was almost comical... I mean where did that mini spotlight come from. After a while it feels like perhaps the director (his first feature) is attempting to do one of two things... play a portion of the scenes as if it were a play... or pay homage to the king of horror lighting Dario Argento (Inferno came to mind).

Case in point ... all the main players are seated around in the woods (spotlights apparently places throughout for lighting)... when the scene and the stories told would have been infinitely more creepy by the naturalmostly-natural lighting of a campfire. As distracting as it was at times, I am going to say that I chose to view it as part of the film's "Look" and bitch no further.

Mmmm. Candy blood.
Now this film does a weird thing with the timeline where after the initial introduction with her as a child they jump forward 12 years... Ok. That would've been fine. If, IF they had simply made her a badass after 12 years... and then moved right into the hunter/prey thing. But no... they actually show you a bunch of her training now... and funny story, she apparently hasn't learned a thing in 12 years... like how to throw a punch... or well anything really. So what was she learning in over a decade under the guidance of strangely attractive man... Who doesn't seem all that tough himself.

Rule one: A bad-Ass character must in fact be BAD-ASS.

Well. Listen all this beef you see here, is in the first act... AKA first 30 minutes. So once we get to the killers VS trained killer of killers... how does it go. Sigh. Well it takes another 20 minutes.

Really once it gets going I was all - This is it. It is on. And there are flashes. For one - the conversation she has with the head bad guy is gold. I mean really good stuff. The attraction he has for her psycho side is great and hints at what could've been a really cool angle. Hell this whole film hints at what could be been sadly... there really is nothing here.

They waste time on a horrible tough girl montage... time that could, and should, have been given to developing the villains. She's a final girl. We really did not need more than that little girl opening. As it is, you don't care about anyone, or anything. The final fight, and chat is great... I mean that... really fun... but it stands out as the only few minutes of the film that are actually engaging. This film has been marketed as a violent revenge against the slasher kinda film... and its not... don't believe the R rating... a couple of F bombs aside... there's barely enough here for the PG-13.

This movie, within this script, there was something here... really, but the direction... and time put into this movie seems to have been minimal. Case in point (again) why does the main guy want to kill blondes? I don't know... and you know what would've been nice instead of what is essentially a crazy and silly final moment - possibly an explanation for that. Ah dang it... this is the worst part of being a film fan, a blogger, a writer, and a general film geek... when you see how it could've been something... something really really cool, and it just went to poop because no one realized extra gore would've been great... teaching the tiny hollywood actress how to how her hands and body in a fight would've been great... and well you get it.

I don't think there is enough here to recommend it. But hey, maybe you are someone who enjoys imagining what couldve been.

Oh and why the hell was this movie set in the 50s? or 60s? whatever it was? Just no damn point to that. No point at all. Much like most of this film.

Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars
Horror scale 2 out of 5 stars

One line Review: No blood, no drama, no nothin. 

Boonsweet is out!

#FinalGirl



Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Pan (2015)

Pan-tacular!



Folks. Don't buy into the hate! Seriously. I have read all these reviews blasting this movie for being too much like this movie, ripping off that other movie... blah blah. Tired of another "Chosen one" story line. Look. There is basically one formula for the giant Hollywood Blockbuster. Ok maybe two. But the predominant one is simple - extraordinary circumstance + huge budget (aka lots of eye candy) + a chosen one to rise up against the evil bad guy/guys.

Avatar. Pirates of the Caribbean. Star wars lol... I mean if you want to say screw the formula than just stay home and watch Grey's Anatomy (sigh sorry, its a fine show, I just 12 seasons? Come on. Hasn't everyone slept with everyone by now? I digress). This is not a completely original film. Its not something you haven't seen before, and heck, it's probably a film that really didn't need to happen... but does that make it a bad film...

I submit - No.

Your story is .... years before the events of the animated classic Peter Pan, or the less classic non animated Peter Pan... Ya. Anyone remember that... 2003... no I didn't think so. Anyway... years before... aka this is a prequel... we find Peter, an Orphan in a rather unpleasant orphanage, in the middle of WWII in London. Well, one night he and other kids are whisked away (kidnapped) by flying pirates from Neverland. Once there in the mines he meets James Hook (the will be Captain Hook one day) his also finds out he can fly... something the evil Black Beard (played with relish by Hugh Jacked Jackman) finds disturbing as a flying boy is suppose to be the "Chosen one" to rise against him and free Neverland.

So. Pretty much adventure, and fairies and a little romance, and the secret to Peter's origins and boom! Your Movie.

seriously, how can you deny that level of Jackman facial hair... 
Pan is without a doubt top three 3D films I have ever seen. If you are looking for a movie to enjoy the heck out of your 3rd Dimension experience this is the film. Jurassic World was a very fun movie... but really, where the hell was the 3D in that film? This film throws everything at you... even once you settle into the depth, they still hit you with things flying at you (I admit it I dodged some cannonballs) and fairies floating about.

This PAN is pure big budget entertainment, and for my money, worth every penny I spent. The acting is spot on. The effects (apparently unfinished by some reports) seem to hold up well. In fact if you get over the Why the heck is black beard kidnapping kids from a different dimension for his mines? The rest is a good time. Non stop colors, and bright, and fun. And really a film for the whole family. The violence all played off with little more than G levels with certain deaths resulting in explosions of coloured powder... ya weird. But cool.

Newbie Levi Miller, does a great job as a boy simply in search of home... and he handles a few tougher scenes later. I imagine getting emotion while looking at a green wall cannot be easy. The rest of the cast is fun. I think I realized what I was in for from the beginning... entertainment. This isn't a film trying to when oscars... Big explosions, sweeping action set pieces... hell, even a musical number thrown in...

I really don't know why everyone seems to be hating on this. I guess at this point we are all kinda beaten down by the big budget film... so much so that when we get a pure family level one with it's heart on it's sleeve... well, maybe the audience, and critics have just gotten a little too jaded. If this film had come out during the 80s and was all practical... I imagine it would have quite the following. But as it is, perhaps it is destine to be lost to the abyss of non stop 100+ million pictures... as the opening week box offie suggest. A shame, as I thought there was some real family fun to be had here.

I like colors.
I like explosions.
I like 3D fairies.

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Action/adventure scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

ONE LINE REVIEW: 3D fairy dust covered good times. 

Thank you for reading my brain Booniacs

-Boonsweet

#Panthemovie
#Pan2015