Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Falling in

THE FALL (2006)

You know those movies that you've been told to watch forever, and you just don't. For no reason in particular. And then when you do, they were so damn right, and you're all like, "what the hell took me so long?"
This is that movie for me.

First let me say this, this film is beautiful. Unbelievably beautiful. Directed by Tarsem (the man behind THE CELL), you could expect nothing less. If you are interested in the art of film, the structure of scene, and the placement of color, and actor, this is your movie. Brilliant. It is rare these days to witness a film that doesn't take the easy road out to dazzle your mind. No big computer effects, and cheap react 3D scenes. This is time, and a love for what is Cinema. A means to move you from your living room to another plane, or simply wrap within your imagination. Its all this.

A man sits in a hospital bed, suicidal. He befriends a young girl. Who I tell you is unfreaking believable. You will not be able to catch the young girl acting. I'm not even sure if she knows she's in a movie, she is that good. I felt my heart strings being pulled, any parent will succumb, prepare yourself. He entertains her with a tale pulled from the recesses of his mind. As they journey through the story, a second tale, in the real world unfolds, The two become intertwined, and eventually the lines between begin to blur.

I will not debate the story. It almost feels unimportant. The acting is so great, and the movie is so much fun to watch, I honestly didn't care. As a critic can i say that? Well it's not like I'm legit, or get invited to the damn meetings... so screw them...I do what I want yo! Sorry... just came out like that.
However... the story, and when it comes to conclusion, it might just take your breath away a little. Have you seen Memento? If you have you might have a slight idea what you're in for ...

movie scale 4 out of 5 stars - I can't give it lower than that. Find a friend with hi-def... Break out the medicine cabinet... I mean... Um... crap. Chips... I meant chips... yeah... smoke some chips... :)
Drama scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

Gorgeous... must watch for any true fan out the art form that is ever so seldom remembered in today's tech obsessed silver screen society

-Charles Boonsweet saying... No means no, unless she is smiling and her eyes are closed... and then it means... "*&%$#45^^& me"

Not another Teen movie... wait I mean... Well ok kinda is


Teen comedies have been around for a long time, because they are funny, and sometimes even when they are unfunny but still have boobies, and teens in rowdy sexual misadventures. Oh no... my parents caught me touching my microphone... gosh what to do.. There are some glorious mainstream entries that stand the test of time: Animal House, Porky's, American Pie, The New Guy (yes I don't know why but it holds a special place in my heart), and a few others. Will BETH COOPER be in that category? I don't know.

First I loved the book, LOVED the book. And yes I hate everyone that constantly reminds you that the book was better than the movie blah blah. I mean seriously does anyone out there that enjoys HARRY POTTER and has never read a page of it need to hear one more douche saying "Oh my God they left so much out", or... well shit... you know dammit. So I will say this, the book was a great, if not, one of the funnest teen nerd chase hot girl stories ever. Written by Larry Doyle (a former mainstay on the Simpson writing staff) we could hardly expect less. So I was excited for this movie. Also Larry Doyle wrote the screenplay, so I got a little more excited. And then Hayden "I love you so much that it makes my other celeb crushes jealous" Panettiere was picked up to play Beth cooper, and I was mad wicked nipple hard excited.

So story is as such- Nerd is a nerd, steps up to give graduation speech, declares undying love for most popular girl who doesn't even know he exists. Her Boyfriend gets it in her head to crush the life from his bones. She thinks he's kinda sick, weak, cute, and let the teen comedy commence. First this is every teen movie you have ever seen. I watched this as I would a slasher flick. You know whats coming but is it good at the delivering, and the answer is yes. The plot is nothing new, but how they do it is. This is not a fairy tale teen comedy. There are actually a few moments of real. Like the geek realizing that the girl of his dreams is actually kinda normal, if not even slightly a hoe. It does cause confusion in his wet dream crush matrix.
... and as for the book... a pretty true translation. A few small differences that I missed, but all the big stuff was there... The towel fight scene was definitely satisfying. Trust me. I haven't seen that level of wet cloth man smacking in years...

This movie is cute... it's fun... and Hayden really is hot. The geeks here are not Hollywood cute geeks. They're real, and they are just in a hapless situation and in over their acme covered heads.

A guilty pleasure. I hope you guys enjoy it for what it is... bubblegum comedy with a few great one liners, and some decent acting by the two leads. Be warned some of the situations are so geek covered you might actually look away, and not because its gross... just because they really are that socially awkward.

movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Teen Comedy scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

I enjoyed the fact this film did not rely on gross out humor... not that I have a problem watching STIFLER drink the cum beer... but really, a nice change.

Boony is out this here piece fools!

Monday, October 19, 2009

A bite outta that mainstream


So you know what sucks about Zombie movie? Big budgets, computerized gore. It might be the most evidently miss used sub genre in all of Hollywood. Instead of understanding that you don't need millions in computerized blood, and explosions (yes one of the rare times I will hate on explosions) and so on, and so on. They continue to crap out the same tired attempts to reinvent the genre, when funny story, the genre keeps on freaking ticking all on its own.

Still every once in a while you need to remind the world Zombies ain't going nowhere... And if they Woody (where the hell you been) Harrelson will kick there human eating asses.

Zombie fans rejoice, this is for you. Movie fans that hate Zombie movies, you might just jump on this one.

So story is simple. Zombies took over. White boy with a fro (Jessie "I like to play one type of person" Eisenberg) has survived with a wonderful and entertaining list of rules. He meets a cowboy hat wearin Zombiemesserupper with a twinkie fetish. Together they kill Zombie and debate life, and the state of the world. They meet a hot Sister and her younger sister. And through a trying and back stabbing course of events hit the road together... Chaos ensues... a kick ass celebrity cameo happens, and well dead people get F'd up. Really, really, messed up.

Woody rocked this role. Fifteen minutes into the movie I was wondering where the hell he's been. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of him in the near future. Emma Stone looks damn good in this movie (as does Amber Heard in a small but visually rewarding role) she really seems to be coming into her own as the hot sidekick/female lead. Look for her to pop up perhaps to toss her name in the vacant "scream queen" sweepstakes. Jesse is good really, but much like Michael Cera, they don't so much act as take roles made for them. It works though. Basically imagine the dude from "ADVENTURELAND" with a gun, and a body count.

One more thing to add... I liked this more than... yes hold you breath... Shaun of the dead. I know, shocking, but here's why:
SHAUN OF THE DEAD was funny. Too funny, as in silly. I had a great time, but I never really felt any peril for the characters involved, it was just too much slapstick. I like the film yes, much, but I would consider more of a straight comedy. Zombieland manages to create, dare I say it, a more realistic feel. Yes there's humor but it seems to fit within the story rather than defining it. There was real emotion here, and peril. This are normal people dealing with the end of the world.

Movie scale 3.5 out of five stars
Horror/comedy scale 4 out 5 stars

Grab your popcorn... this is the smash the summer blockbusters should have been.

-Chuck B. Boonsweet

Monday, October 5, 2009

Frickin Candy Bitches!


Best horror movie I seen in a damn long while. Best mainstream horror movie I have seen in the last few years period (wait if I put a period after the word period is that.. Ah screw it)

Okay so here's a fun story. So Michael Dougherty is Bryan Singer's pal. He writes X2, superman returns... etc. Then comes up with this sick little horror flick. Bryan Singer producers, Bam! Movie gets made. Hype is decent there's even a trailer that drops... and then POOF no release. Movie sits for whatever reason on some dusty film studios shelf...

I have never wanted to burn down Hollywood more, this movie freakin rocked my horror lovin socks.

The story is set around the a small town on Halloween. Four stories; A crazy kid killing principal, a virgin with a group of fairy tale dressed hoes (yes as hot as you can fathom), a group of kids on an urban legend adventure, and crazy old man, are all woven together over the night. I can't go into too much detail without spoiling plot, and as you, my loyal readers know, ol' Bonny don't swing that way, unless the flick sucks.... in which case I of course consider it my sacred duty to protect you from certain brain injury at the hands of film makers run amok... it's not exactly saving kittens, but I think it still counts.

The directing is tight, Doughtery shows a real love from classic horror. There are camera nods to Black Christmas (the original, not the blood soaked, plot thin remake, also if you haven't seen the original... slap yourself) Child's play, and so on. The CGI is minimal, I counted one scene I believe, the rest is all old school makeup. (deep sigh) Really brings a tear to your eye. The acting is good. Even get this, real kids playing kids. I know... still when I see teenagers who happen to be teenagers as opposed to wrinkly twenty somethings that look like they smoked since they were twelve, been sexing it up since nine, and have about three layers of foundation on. Hollywood Y'all. This movie kept me guessing, laughing, and pretty much lovin myself for most of the movie,

Also... (drum roll) it actually caught me a few times really having no idea what to expect... none. I bow to you writer/director guy. The fact that Bryan Singer had something to do with this makes me hate him slightly less for his Superman debacle.

Okay Boony's bottom line. If you are not a fan of horror. Stay away that simple. This is not for you. If you like horror, if you like jumping, being brain bitch slapped, and giggling at comedic delivery amidst violent and twisted chaos... this is for you. Horror fans rejoice... there might be hope for Hollywood yet... oh wait they let this sit in a back room for a year and a half... and now its going straight to DVD. Never mind.

movie scale 3 out of five stars
horror scale 4.5 out of five stars (my highest rating yet to a horror entry!)

P.S. Not saying greatest horror flick all time... no, no, but from what I reviewed since I started... it is.

Chuck Boonsweet is saying protect your nuts, they make the babies... Um... and to the ladies... Ah... I got nothin, but you're awesome dammit.