Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Ice, Ice, baby... and an evil fish

HYPOTHERMIA (2010 - release DVD 2012)

First thought when I finished this film... that was a horrible ending.
Man do I hate a bad ending. You ever been talking to someone about a film and they're all like "Ya you know it was a pretty good movie. I mean the ending was a little weak, but overall not bad"
No. Bad movie going public!
An ending is not just a part of a movie, I mean, it's the most important part of the movie. I mean okay... example...
You go on a date, a super awesome date, great chat, so much in common. The meal is good. You are walking the lovely he/she to their door. You reach the front step and then as the moment of the good evening kiss nears... you lean in... and are suddenly kicked in the knee cap, nipple twisted, and have your eyeball licked...
Now was that an acceptable date? The answer my friends is no. That is a run home, lose number, facebook friend delete situation. So why do we accept non awesome film endings? Well, I'm done, and have been done. But let's fill in the blanks.

So Michael Rooker and his family (wife, son, son's fiancé) are at the family cottage by a frozen lake for some good old ice fishing and social. While out on the lake they meet an annoying, but likeable duo of Father and son city slicker. Then as they all try to get along out on the ice and catch some fish they become aware of a rather large, and possible murderous fish beneath the surface. The city slickers make it their mission to capture it, and the good ol' country folk get pulled along.

I mean anything with Michael Rooker is probably you know, worth a view, hence this review. The locations and settings are iced out full winter style and beautiful. Some of the long range ice shots are just fantastic. Growing up in my kiddy years I spent many a day out on a frozen lake, and it took me back. The writing early on, and for the majority of the movie is pretty good. Very bland, and normal, and even a few genuine chuckles. It just felt real. Real cold, real people, and then a real threat.

So the creature - all honesty- it does look a little silly. But, I am a guy who has been shaking his fist in the air with every over CGI'd monster that has been shoved down my throat, so really, once I reminded myself that, I grew to enjoy the charm of the full practical creature. That's right folks. Man in a suit. Boo and ya. The issues start when the action picks up and the blood starts flowing (full practical blood effects too, I know right, I was stoked at this point). Why, when a son is severely injured, and clearly so, would any Dad refuse to take him to hospital. Especially when he is nothing but a slightly in over his head, over all good natured city slicker? Next issue, really how smart is this thing? They throw around all kinds of ideas for what it might be... none of those ideas however explain some of it's uber attack strategies.

Then, then we get to the sin of a film that has been very for a good portion; well acted, and fun, and different... a weak... a very weak last 15 minutes. Where people that have seemed intelligent for the most part do ridiculous things. Also... wait what... the Rooker gets no showdown? That is nearly unforgivable... and then you are gonna throw some gibberish about understanding the creatures motivations? It killed people. Its a monster. Does it need us to care why?


I get what they were trying to establish with the creature/man, hunter/prey, habitat dominance, but after the rest of the movie it just didn't fit for me. This needed to be a straight creature feature. Man rising against beast to defend his family. Terror, thrills, maybe even you know... self sacrifice for the cause... something... anything more than what we got.

Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars
Horror scale 2.5 out of 5 stars

Mr. Rooker as always held it down. Far exceeding what the script gave him. I have mad respect for his screen game. Just not enough in the mix to bring it all together.

- Charles Boonsweet.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Feline felony


Remember when animation involved rooms full of artists spending insane amounts of energy, time, and skill, to produce works of film that dazzled imagination...?

Okay, yes. I know it has been a while. 

There is a magic about those days and the films they've created that allows them to stand the test of time. Films that still sell out from shelves on re-releases, and special editions. Films that parents will go out and find for their children because they remember the feelings they had as a child, eyes wide with wonder. 

Now, ok, before I go too mushy-mush here... I want to make it very clear, I have a strong love of all things animation. In no way am I bashing the current state that is CGI animation. Anyone who knows me knows I love me some Kung Fu Panda. And the things that Pixar has done with the form in terms of story with Wall-E, and Up, are just amazing. However, there was a warmth, a movement to the film that gave it a different life when it was by pencil stroke alone... Anyone that has seen Fantasia, The Rescuers, An American Tail, and the list goes on, looks back on them with a fondness that doesn't seem to fade. 

There have been a few here and there over the last couple of decades that definitely hold their own... The Iron Giant, Balto, (the phenomenally pretty) Thief and the Cobbler, but the style and form has faded as CGI rules the cinemas. Add the advantages of CGI 3D and well, the pencil may not be mightier than the CGI sword. 

Ok. Yes. That was a rant. But, it served a purpose. 

A Cat in Paris, in a return to that classic feel of animation. It moves, breaths as you watch it on screen. And, as is sometimes the case with the most visually original, at times, perhaps the majority, the art is more the reason to watch than the story. 

So your plot. 
Young girl has a cat, Dino. Dino stays with her during the day and leaves at night to pursue his second life; an assistant to a very talented "Cat" burglar. The young girl is often left alone with her Nanny, as her Mother (a detective) is kept very busy. One night the young girl follows the cat to see where he goes... and a wonderfully brisk, and surprisingly serious adventure takes place. 

If you dig art, and animation as art, this is for you. At a run time of just over an hour this is hardly a plot heavy piece. In fact, you might miss some lines here and there just absorbing the style of the film. From the smooth jazz melting over each vibrant colour, to watching a small yapping dog be smushed by a flying sandal... twice... to a very cool lights out scene in which the characters are drawn in white lines. Colours are fun aren't they? That's the feelings I had on it. Is the story amazing, not so much (follow cat and sprinkle in a fast moving subplot about the killer the mother is hunting). It works though. If the story had been too deep, or lengthy, or focused on humour you would lose time doing what you wanna do... Watch.

The voice acting in the English release is top notch. So no worries about having to track down the original French version to avoid what I call "Toon Air eating" haha (yes, it is oh so very possible to badly dub an animated film)

This is not a film for everyone. In fact, as a film, it is not the best of the genre I have seen. Not even close. But as art, as a reminder that pencil to page can still mind bend your eyeballs... (that um is the best I can currently come up with to describe, so ya... I'm rollin with it) it is something you should see. Maybe with a couple them young folks curled up on the couch with ya... 

Movie scale 2.5 our of 5 stars
Animated movie scale 3.5 out 5 stars. 

Chucky B saying he hopes to see him some more of the old skool. 

Honest Abe and his trusty scythe.


If history has taught me anything, it's that no undead is safe from Abraham Lincoln!!  While he's not the only President to battle the supernatural (JFK helping Elvis defeat a mummy, and Franklin Roosevelt fighting werewolves to name a couple of examples), he is to my knowledge the only President to wage war against two different kinds of monsters.  And that's no easy feat dammit!!

Since my fellow colleague Boonsweet reviewed Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, it seemed logical for me to follow up that review with The Asylum's version, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.  Now for those of you who aren't aware of the company The Asylum by now, they are known for being involved in such original gems as "Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus" and "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid", and mockbusters such as "Transmorphers", "Paranormal Entity", and "The Amityville Haunting", just to name a few.  Knowing this going in, I kept my hopes low in an effort to reduce disappointment.  Let's begin, shall we?

The movie begins with a young Abe Lincoln.  After hearing a gunshot in his home, he runs upstairs to his parents bedroom to find his father with a self-inflicted gunshot wound, and his undead mother tied to the bed.  With his dying breath, Abe's father apologizes to his son, and tells him that he must kill his mother.  Abe takes a scythe, does the deed, and breaks the scythe in half in a rage.  We then flash forward to his Presidential days where, after learning of a failed attempt at capturing a Confederate fort, Lincoln goes to see the only soldier to come back alive.  Lincoln sees that the soldier is near death, and the soldier's raving about a mob of people attacking and eating people from both sides of the battle convinces the President that the zombie outbreak from his childhood has returned.  Abe then goes to the fort with his 12 Secret Service men to investigate.  They engage the Confederates, but the gunfire attracts the undead, and they are forced to fight two enemies for a brief period.  In spite of the odds, Abe and his party manage to fend off the undead and capture the Confederates and the fort.  However, that's only the beginning of Lincoln's plan, as he is determined to put an end to this zombie outbreak. 

All in all, I have mixed feelings about this one.  Let's do a good point/bad point and vice-versa style this time.  We'll start with the acting.  Overall, the acting wasn't very good.  A few of the actors were pretty wooden at times, and just wasn't believable.  Some others were so-so, at least good enough to not have any major complaints about.  And then there's Bill Oberst Jr., who was above and beyond in his portrayal of President Lincoln.  His line delivery was fluid, and he had good use of facial expressions, especially the eyes.  I found any scene without him in it was just blander than normal.  However, I couldn't help but notice two things: one, his fake mole looked at times like it was barely attached to his face.  And two, his voice is uncannily similar to Lloyd Bridges.

Next, makeup and effects.  The zombie makeup was decent enough, not the best I've ever seen but certainly not the worst.  The effects however are another story.  The Asylum has a habit of using cheesy CGI effects for blood, monsters, etc.  And this flick was no exception.  The blood spatter was baaaad, it would visibly disappear in mid air most of the time, and there was one part where the mid-air blood effect actually hovered in one spot, see if you can spot it.  And there was some unnecessary use of green screening here and there.

Now I think I'll just mish-mash the rest of my opinions here.  The costumes and scenery were good enough, and the story itself?  Well let's just say it's Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, so the story is good for what it is.  There was one interesting thing done with the zombies I need to point out.  Whenever there is nobody around and little to no noise is made, the undead just stop moving and stand wherever they are in some sort of comatose state until something riles them up.  It's an interesting concept, but unfortunately it's not used very well.  It's really nothing more than plot convenience, and even then there are inconsistencies about when they wake up and attack.

Despite my issues with this flick, it did have it's moments.  If you have a love of zombies, or period pieces, or even cheesy effects and one liners, you should still check this one out.  It's on Netflix for those of you who have it.  In fact, I actually recommend watching other Asylum movies.  If anything they're great for a laugh or two.  You just have to go in with your brain shut off and low expectations, and fun will be had.   

Movie Rating:  2.5 out of 5 stars
Cheese Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

- Ken Bucklesworth, future President of Earth

Friday, October 26, 2012

Honest Abe and his trusty Axe


The B movie. There are many definitions for this term through the decades. Myself, I feel this is the closest.

B Movie: A film with low to non-existent budget that has grand aspirations, and occasionally finds success with a devoted following.

There are many of these films, a few amazing, some good, and many, many, just bad, and cheap and well... More of a C film really... :) But every once and a while you come across one that you can see the possibility. A film that when you are done watching you think "You know if they just had a bigger budget they might have pulled that off" or "With a few better actors in that film you know it might have been pretty awesome" ... and the list goes on. Money, though not always, often holds a film back from reaching its full potential

Boony sidenote: I love low budget film. You know this. So no hate. Just saying there is more bad then good out there. Think about the horrid horrid films you have subjected yourself to in hopes of the next "Evil Dead", "Night of the Living Dead", or "Black Christmas". Thank you.

If you down with the scene yo, then this folks - is the film you have been waiting for. This is a completely over the top, wonderfully beautiful, well acted, and entirely crazy B movie with a huge budget. Really big budget. And boy was it just swell.

So Abraham Lincoln was an awesome president of the United States, he was also it seems a hunter of vampires (after they kill his Mother he swears revenge). Now here is where the fun is, the film is actually historically accurate. Dates, people, events, all here in eye watering glory, they just you know... add vampires... and Abe's awesome Axe skills. And no folks, we ain't talking rock and roll...

Had to.

Okay so there are some issues here. Um. So if I follow this film, if I get angry, and then learn to focus the rage (in a roughly 19 and a half second lesson) I will then be able to move super fast and destroy trees, and hence vampires, in a single blow. Hmmm... what? Ya, ok, so there's that... and the whole son dying thing... well, maybe that was a little too far over real life presidential grounds, but that's pretty much it. My only beefs.

I like crazy, and cheese, and fun, and for years I have been waiting for a film that had all of that and an insane budget. Blood flying everywhere, limbs, heads. Entirely over the top showdowns, and settings. Great acting, played one hundred percent straight throughout. Really, lets face it, that man's beard came to get some...

This will not be a film for everyone. If even a portion of the above review did not tickle you somewhere deep, and squishy, then pass. If you do not know what a B movie is, or have none that you can point out on your shelf, then pass. For the rest though, strap in and enjoy the ride. With the reception this film received I doubt we will be getting anything else along these lines soon... so get while the getting's good.

Say what you will about the director (same guy behind WANTED) but he can helm an action scene. The slow motion/real time/fast time action scene at the mansion one of my favourites of the year... perhaps another category to find in the year end awards blog. Be pumped.

Movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Horror/B movie scale 3.5 out of five stars.

Charles B-movie Boonsweet is out this piece!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Less bump in the night


It is rare to find a truly scary film these days. I mean really, you usually end up with poor cats being thrown at the camera (with an accompanying noise of some kind) or you just get tons of violence (the saw franchise coming to mind). Still, every once and a while, usually of the beaten path, a no name film maker comes to the fore front of the genre with a fantastic creepy and unsettling adventure.

Enter the Paranormal Activity films.

I remember watching the first and feeling my skin crawl. Those little shivers that leave bumps of the goose variety in their wake. The second I saw in theatre and the absolute dread and fear that rocked through the crowd was a blast, heck I even enjoyed some of the cool ideas and tricks of the 3rd.

So I went to see 4, and well, as I feared... There was no fear. The magic is gone folks. G-O-N-E gone.

Plot is, possessed woman, and child from the second instalment (who is sworn over to a demon as a result of a family oath, or such) move in next door to a plucky teen heroine was of course gets creeped out as creepy things happen. Then it seems the demon woman and the young boy have decided to take her young brother as their own. And here we go...

Okay, first, there were a few good things here. The way the incorporate the Kinect (Xbox for those of you that do not game), using the tracing lights and some night vision for a couple of cool effects. The acting is pretty darn good. The young teen in the lead is pretty talented, as is her so cool boyfriend. They have some very real and fun dialogue. Their are a few laughs, and some tension here and there... but the bad just out weighs the good. The movie is just plain slow. Really nothing happens. Other than a few little things that might get a jump but serve no real "built the dread" function. The deaths when they come are hardly that affecting because we hardly give a kaka about them. I mean ya he had a few funny lines, but do I care he is now dead? No.

There is stupid too. For instance. One main trick in the film is the girl having her boyfriend set up the laptops in the house to always record. So that even if the computer is off, it is still watching. Two major, huge, gigantic, issues with that. No one leaves their laptops open all the time. You close the lid. And, lastly, this trick means that she has to take her laptop with her wherever she goes... outside... investigating... through a window lol, no joke, she brings the computer with her. Even turns it towards the enemy a couple of times so we can get a good look.


Nope. I think they just ran out of ideas. Here's a concept, use what works, stop trying to come up with some super clever/notsomuch way of filming these things. Cameras, security, a few handhelds, all good.

And I know with the money these movies continue to make we will see more, and I'm fine with that. The scares I got form the first 3 are worth a couple mulligans... but it is time to either explain the damn cult, or move the freak on people. New story, new characters, new possession. There, done.

Bottom line. Maybe a couple jump scares, and a pretty decent last ten minutes do not make up for the hour plus of boredom you will not get back.

Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars
horror scale 2 out of 5 stars

Hope you all find many awesome ways to enjoy your impending Halloweens...

-Chuck B. Boonsweet

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Bad Doggie!


Werewolves are kind of like the bastard child of the horror-verse. For a time loved and embraced by all in the mix of the big three (wolfy, Fangs, and a monster back to life) but as the popularity of the others grew the wolves were lost. Oh they have surfaced from time to time, late 80s, a couple of indies here and there, but as whole you just don't see the furry beasts too much anymore. I however have always had a soft spot for them -

Editor's note : Boonsweet refuses to acknowledge the wolf lore aspect to the twilight franchise as well as the change that results in a slightly larger than norm husky look. Thank you.

- I came across this film in a few articles and thought it looked pretty interesting. As with any wolf movie, I approached with caution. Spoke with a soft clear voice... took the snack out of my pocket... wait, no, that's how I got past my neighbors German shepherd for after hours visits in grade ten... ok. Lowered expectations. That was where I was. Excited. But accepting.

This was one FUN movie.

Ok, so, there are werewolves, and they terrorize town circa the 1800s. There are hunters and they help these towns survive. One town in particular is under attack from a very strong beast and hires a group of well known hunters to help. As a side story we meet Daniel (a very likable Guy Wilson) who is in love with a young maiden in town, and hard at work learning the crafts of medicine from genre legend Stephen Rae (insert applause). Here is what immediately sets this film apart from many entries into any genre of low budget filming - Quality. The sets are amazing. The costumes, lighting, camera work, and yes even the acting, are all very good. This movie takes itself seriously and has the talent behind the lens, and the writing to pull it off.

So the young Daniel joins the hunters and the film takes a very interesting twist becoming a rather involving whodunit. The people of the town are all intriguing in their own way, and the twists that come don't feel forced, they slide in smooth and often leave a smile on your face. Well, maybe just my face, but then I appreciate such things in my off the beaten path filmaking.

I won't go into the twists, even though there are a couple I really wanna... But let me just say, if you have ever enjoyed the werewolf genre this is the entry you have been waiting a long time for. If you are horror fan looking for some fantastic practical makeup, and thrills, you will dig.

One thing I did want to mention though, was the use of CGI in this film. It just really, really was not needed. There are all these scenes of various beast-ness that look just fantastic. All makeup. Gore, limbs lost, all that, all makeup, and then for no reason they'll just throw an unneeded CGI shot of the were wolf in. WHY!? It makes no sense, maybe they just wanted to spend a little more money... Or someone was learning how to play with their new Macbook? No idea. Either way, totally messed with a really solid film. And when not CGI's these big screen man-dogs look dang good.

Genuinely surprised and pleased.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Horror/werewolf scale 3.5 out of 5 stars.

And folks, comments from one and all are welcome... Bring the think!

Chuck double B saying he'll see you punks at the next full moon.

Turn that frown upside down :)

SMILEY (2012)

Man that looks like an awesome mask.
That's what I thought the first time I saw a trailer for this low budget slasher. And sometimes that's enough right? It catches your eye, and you're like well, give it a chance. And a chance it was given.

So the story goes if you are online video chatting with someone, and you type I did it for the lulz 3 times good old masked man with a large knife AKA Smiley will show up and kill the person on the other end, while you watch. Ok, you may be thinking, Pfft that's stupid. Well, I say not so much. Let us not forget many people bought into cell phones that kill, and a video taped girl that comes out of your TV. As such, I say its acceptable. Anyway, cute girl, freshman, gets caught up with a bunch of tech weenies who are obsessed with Smiley. She then begins to get stalked.

Ok so the good. I laughed. Is that good in a horror flick? Sometimes. The only problem is I wasn't sure if I was laughing at it, or with it sometimes. But I was enjoying it very much... At first. The problem is once the cheesy acting, and overthetoptotrytobecool lines start losing there awesomeness you're left wondering "Okay, what is this movie?". At times it seems its a standard slasher straight to video, only, there really isn't that much gore. And all the girls, yes all of them are fully clothed. Okay, so trashy TNA gore fest is out. But the acting is still awful, so maybe comedy horror? But then, and here is perhaps the biggest problem, intelligence. Suddenly, without warning this film will make a statement so absolutely genius that you can't help but look to your fellow audience and nod in approval. For instance the film professor (by FAR the best character in the film) has a Phenomenal speech on the evolution of the human species and the possibility that we are not the final stage, but a gestation stage for the next form of life we will allow to be created.

Ya. Crazy heavy. And okay maybe they are trying to imply that Smiley could be a similar creation as a result of being willed into existence. But then as your still digesting BAM! 18 horribly acted and written lines punch you in the face and you are just shaking the dust off again.

There are moments here folks. A few really cool kills. A killer mask (which any slasher will tell you is uber-Im-por-tante) but it is painfully obvious that a clearer direction was needed. If they had simply embraced the cheese, loaded the violence, and worked the Smiley in the real world angle more, well we would really had something. However, they choose to try to turn a silly B movie into a thoughtful expose on youth and technology, and blah blah blah... leading to what I can only describe as my "WTF" ending of the year. Yes. More so than Killlist.

Ok Maybe a tie for WTF ending of the year.

You know all this has got me thinking maybe me and Bucklesworth should get together and give out some awards. Hmmm... why not. We'll mail the winners tinfoil Oscars, and call them um... Lil' demons... maybe. I don't know... dam... sorry... ok annnnnnnnd back.

Sadly folks I think there is too little hardcore horror for the true believers, and too much for the average teeny scare lover. It will almost certainly get lost behind many of the better entries in the genre this year (including many reviewed on this lovely blog lol)

movie scale 1.5 out of 5 stars
Horror/slasher scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
- Boonsweet gives y'all the adios...


I did it for the lulz
I did it for the lulz
I did it for the lu......................

Monday, October 15, 2012

Haunted hospitals should not be entered, ever!!


A little ways back I had the pleasure of watching and reviewing Grave Encounters, which (for those of you who might not remember) was about a reality show shooting one of their episodes inside a haunted hospital, with the expected result of people dying and scares aplenty.  Somehow it had escaped my radar until just recently that GE 2 was out, and of course I jumped on the chance to watch and review it as well.  Of course, it being nearly Halloween and all, horror is almost 100% of what I've been watching movie wise, so this flick fit in well with my current list.

So, on to the review.  I was immediately surprised to learn that Grave Encounters 2 isn't your standard sequel.  It takes place in what you would call the "real world", where the first GE was just a movie.  The sequel opens up showing a number of people doing vlogs reviewing GE, ranging from good reviews to negative.  I gotta say, I did enjoy this movie actually showing people talking about how the movie was terrible.  It's nice to see that the people behind the flick have a sense of humor and can handle a little criticism. 

Enter Alex, one of the vloggers at the start of the movie, and wannabe filmmaker.  After his review of Grave Encounters he receives a video response from a viewer called Deathawaits6, showing the star of GE, Lance Preston, in the hospital wearing a hospital gown.  Later on the same viewer gives Alex coordinates to the hospital where the movie was made.  After doing some research Alex learns that the real hospital has a similar history to the fictional one, and the cast of the movie have been missing for nine years (Even though Grave Encounters was released in 2011, it was the year 2003 in the movie's timeline).  Alex starts to become obsessed with the history of the movie, to the point of neglecting his own movie that he is trying to shoot.  After a revealing meeting with one of the producers of GE, Alex and four of his friends decide to go to the hospital and get proof that the events of  Grave Encounters are true.

Ok, let's start with the good points of the flick.  First, I personally enjoyed the idea of the sequel being in "real life", and the first GE being a movie, and yet having the events of the original be true.  Alex's growing obsession with the movie was believable, and the acting overall was decent enough.  The time in the hospital was pretty decent.  Not as many scares as in the first movie, but then again, Alex and friends didn't go into the hospital until the second half, so not as much time to deliver as GE 1.  But most of the scares were effective enough.  The ending was an unexpected turn in my opinion, but ultimately I did like it.  Boonsweet and I discussed the possibilities of another sequel, and we both concluded that a third part was possible, but options for the story were quite limited.

On to the negatives.  With a couple of exceptions, the first half of the time in the hospital was pretty much the same old routine as in the first movie.  That's a negative only if you didn't enjoy or get scared by the events of GE 1.  And in case you didn't pick up on it, in the positives paragraph I mentioned MOST of the scares were effective.  Earlier in the movie it's amusingly pointed out by a couple of people that the special effects (mainly the ghosts distorted faces) looked ridiculous.  And while I admit the facial effects in GE 1 were hit and miss (mostly hit in my opinion), in the sequel not only were a couple of the ghosts' faces bad looking, it was totally predictable when they went from the normal to distorted look, which was disappointing.

Also, this isn't a positive or a negative point, it's just a question.  Obsessed or not, if you were convinced that the events of Grave Encounters were true, why the hell would you want to go in the hospital, knowing full well you may not be able to leave?  Of course, if Alex and friends followed that logic, there wouldn't have been a Grave Encounters 2 now would there?

So, in the end, I enjoyed this flick.  The direction chosen for the sequel and the unexpected turn at the end met with my approval.  If any of you are going to (or already are) doing a horror fest for Halloween, make a point of looking into Grave Encounters 2.  Bucklesworth has spoken!!!

P.S.  My apologies for my absence with reviews lately.  It's fortunate that my fellow cohort Boonsweet is more than capable of picking up the slack. 

Movie scale: 3 out of 5 stars
Horror scale:  3 out of 5 stars

- Ken K. Bucklesworth, eager for Halloween


Saturday, October 13, 2012

Rollin in my 5.0...

THAT'S MY BOY (2012)

There was a time, somewhere in my teen years when Adam Sandler was a silver screen god. There are those of you I am sure that missed that time and have to understand him only as someone who was kinda of funny pretending to be gay (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), or horribly unfunny playing a brother and sister (Jack and Jill). And really no one, I mean mean NO ONE need ever speak of the horrid comedy abomination that was "You Don't Mess with the Zohan". But I assure you there was a time when films like "Billy Madison" and "Happy Gilmore" were simply too funny. The type of film that you and your friends watch with your first twelve pack and laugh till you cry. Indeed I have fondly looked back and thought to myself gosh they just don't make them like that anymore...

And it's true dammit. Like the Caddyshack, and Animal House (and the list goes on) before them those films have become staples of teenagers and young adults the world over. However, since that early magic, as is the case with many a screen funny man, the magic... it has gone the way of the Dodo. But, here now, I am telling you, this film is freaking funny!

The plot... and oh my this is a plot :)
13 year old boy knocks up his teacher. She goes to jail he becomes a early 90s pop icon. Years later he owes back taxes and needs to reunite with his estranged son to raise the funds to avoid jail. You will see many things in this film including; Nut shots, violent nut shots, boobs, at least 7 people getting bottled, attractive women in compromising positions, unattractive women in compromising situations, pee, Chicken nuggets in a plaid pocket, and the list goes and goes on.

This is not a film for people that just don't get why Adam Sandler and his gang of misfits has had the careers they have. I mean part of it is his audience understanding that they must be fairly intoxicated while creating most of their ideas (I give you GRANDMAS BOY anyone). This is a film for the people that still hold the early Sandler stuff in high regard. The same audience that over time has embraced films like "Grandma's Boy" and "Benchwarmers". 

Adam Sandberg who I think has a lot of potential on screen is hilarious as Adam's grown son. The way he struggles so hard with his past, and with being accepted in the present is just comic gold. There are enough fantastic pee and fart jokes for the inner teen, and a few clever insider jokes for the struggling inner adult... or is that outer adult now? Hmmm.... also...The cameos are awesome. Rex Ryan (New York Jets coach) has some awesome lines in regards to his real life nemesis the Patriots.

I will say this... This one thing. If you are down with Vanilla Ice having a major role in this film. And Adam Sandler rolling up to his door and saying "Yo Ice, you still got that 5.0?"

If you get that, and it tickles you down somewhere in the depths of your man parts. This is your movie haha. 

If not you should just stop...
and listen.

This film will not be for you.

And yes there is just enough heart to really make you feel for Adam's character "Donnie". A young kid that became a legend for sexing his wicked high school teacher. And for the guys reading this, is there a better way to become a legend? Or would you think there was a better way at 13? I submit - Nay. 

movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Comedy scale 3.5 out 5 stars

This film will be bashed by critics and I'm sure the audience that loved Adam Sandler is now so jaded they might just pass, but I promise, it is easily the best comedy he has put out in years... many many years.

This is Charles "I danced with the penguin" Boonsweet signing off. 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Chum. You are all chum!

BAIT 3D (2012)

Jaws dropped some 30 years ago, in fact for those that don't know; the term blockbuster actually originated from its release. People were lined up around the block. The impact of that one film has been felt through all genres, including horror. It single-handedly made many a child afraid to go in the water. You try explaining to a 9 year old after his first experience with JAWS that sharks can't be in the swimming pool. No seriously, try, you might ask my Mom for pointers.

Still with the impact of the film there have been very few attempts to duplicate it. Before anyone says anything about the slew of Syfy originals... shut it! They most certainly do not count. Sorry, they just don't. Awesome in their own way, a way that is slightly above anti film... lol. So when I hear about a new entry in the genre, a serious entry, I get a little excited. When I hear that they used limited CGI and built a robotic shark, well, heck they did, and I get a little more excited.

So plot. A tsunami hits the coast of Australia. A bunch of peeps get trapped in a busted up mall, with a shark, or two. And, um, so they try to escape and stuff. Ok. Pause. I know your brains are obviously a few levels above your average bears (I mean you are obviously of grand intelligence being booniacs and buckle heads), and as such you are probably saying "Dang a shark in a mall, are you sure this isn't Sharktopus 17?". A fair question. Here's a fact, after a tsunami hits there have been multiple reports of shark attacks in the small villages. Even waiting in the shallower waters when the tides recede to get their chompers on the livestock. So, really, if this film had been made in Hollywood you would have probably got a "based on a true story" label.

The acting is actually pretty good, the variety of people is nice. Makes for a good arrangement of root for, and root against. The shark action is really good. The setting allows for all kinds of cool stuff. A couple trapped in a car, under water, with a shark circling them? Yup. Cool. Couple drama that gets worked out through impending life threats... ok... not so original or cool, but its okay, because shark, and more shark. One thing I will say. Do you have to really show the person popping out of the water after an attack every time? Oh he's dead... awww... no wait there he is reaching out... no he's dead... oh wait, he's up again. And awww... I guess he was dead after all...

Come on.

The effects are really good folks. A tone of practical. The CGI ain't too shabby. How is it Australia has been making horror films for like a decade and then still outdo 90% of the CGI coming out of Japan? That folks is an odd little fact.

I think most of you scare lovers, or shark flick lovers, will dig this one. Its no Jaws, but it definitely had a few cool things to offer. And in 3D a great time to rock out the at home entertainment.

movie scale 3 out 5 stars
Horror scale 3 stars out of 5 stars

Also, in a side note. Sharks are sadly misunderstood creatures, and we really need to stop people from wiping them out from around the world as they are an essential part of our ecosystem...
But damn do they make for good on screen destruction...

-Boony saying keep those water wings on.

Dreddfull... is the new awesomeful... ish...

DREDD (2012)

So many moons ago there was a comic created that infused the minds of young boys and girls... no, scratch that, just boys, with mind blowing images of futuristic judge and crime and dealing of punishment. That comic was JUDGE DREDD. Then a few less moons ago Sly Stallone got together with some peeps said "Hey that comic is awesome, so violent and cool. Lets make it PG and market it towards kids" and then the movie bombed, and the comic creator threatened self violence in protest.

Ok, that last part a slight exaggeration, though not by much. Moral of the story, the creator hated it, and it bombed. Though over time I think some myself included have chosen to enjoy its cheese. Though I enjoy as a vision of the source material (or wonderful lack thereof lol) and not a silver screen recreation.

So decades pass and someone says "Hey, we have a bunch of money, lets remake this thing. True to the comic, with buckets of blood, and in 3D"

And I being the awesome loving chap I am, said, yes make mine a double.

Plot is all future like. The world went to KAKA their are criminals everywhere, and only the "Judges", a force of bike riding badasses can protect it. The baddest of the bunch, Judge "Don't make me take of this helmet" Dredd. So Dredd and a new recruit go to answer a call. End up running up against a crazy drug dealing former Sarah Connor playing (TV not film) baddy who decides she don't wanna let two judges that know her stuff walk about, and cue the violence.

First let me say this, the 3D in this film, at least for the first twenty minutes or so, is down right fantastic. The added cool of the drug in the film causing peeps to see things in slow motion. Guns, explosions, and tons of slow motion. Yup. It's pretty much a 3D steak when most times we get a 3D  McDouble at best. You will find yourself all a smile with the "wow" and the "That was sweet"

Karl Urban steps into the role and owns it. I mean the man has to act the entire film with only half a face, impressive stuff. I mean ask yourself, if all you could show anyone was from top lip down, could you really intimidate anyone? I submit, you could not.

All in all this was a glorious, and fantastically over the top R rated actioner. Something that lets face it is a dying breed in your local cineplex. And considering the support this film got opening weekend, that sad trend might continue. Guys, understand, this is not a film you take your lady too. Unless, she is mad into Cult flicks, and has a Blood, guts, and glory tattoo above her seventh piercing. In which case I congratulate you on your feminine abilities :)

This is one to grab up ya boys... or Boyz however you roll, bring the nine bucks for snacks, and do this thing. The first words out of your mouth after it will prob be "Man that one scene was so sweet" and there are many my faithful followers, there are many.

Film rating 3 out 5 stars
Action film rating 4 out of 5 stars.

Chuck Boonsweet is out yo. To trip the fantastic slow mo.

P.S. - Booya.